OCtoolguy Posted October 6, 2019 Report Share Posted October 6, 2019 I'm not sure where to post this. Or even if I should. But, I regard you folks as friends so I am going to open up. I've been sort of "high centered" for the past month. A few of you already know about this but for those who don't I'll explain. One month ago today, Barb and I lost our oldest son to depression caused suicide. It's been tough around here since. We are getting past the initial shock but I just haven't been motivated to go out to the shop and do anything. So, I sit here at my computer and read all the stuff you great people post. I try to be active in conversations where I might have something meaningful to add. I'm truly sorry to bringing this to such a HAPPY place but I just had the need to talk about it. I hope you all will understand and forgive. Just know how much I appreciate every one of you and you all are truly my VILLAGE! Doug is the second from the left. Blond, blue-eyed. The other 3 are the rest of our brood. John B, OzarkSawdust, lawson56 and 4 others 4 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meflick Posted October 6, 2019 Report Share Posted October 6, 2019 (edited) Ray, I am sorry to hear that your precious son Doug succumbed to his illness. While I knew he had been struggling, based on some previous discussions we had had a while back, I did not know of your loss. My prayers and thoughts are with you and your family as you go through the process of mourning your loss. I hope that you all find comfort in remembering the good times that you had with him as a family over the years and remember that he had an illness that you all could do nothing to heal. When I lost my mother about 3 1/2 years ago to Alzheimer’s, I found great comfort and solace on time on the Saw. I hope that you too will be able to do so soon. Edited October 6, 2019 by meflick Typo OCtoolguy 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rockytime Posted October 6, 2019 Report Share Posted October 6, 2019 There can be nothing more devastating than losing a child or any loved one. I don't have words to tell you. I understand severe depression as my wife has had it since before we were married nearly 56 years ago. When around others she is very charismatic and lightens the room. However, she rarely wants to see anyone so she shuts everyone out. It is so very difficult to watch. I can almost feel your sorrow. God bless you, your wife and the rest of your family. OCtoolguy 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OCtoolguy Posted October 6, 2019 Author Report Share Posted October 6, 2019 4 minutes ago, Rockytime said: There can be nothing more devastating than losing a child or any loved one. I don't have words to tell you. I understand severe depression as my wife has had it since before we were married nearly 56 years ago. When around others she is very charismatic and lightens the room. However, she rarely wants to see anyone so she shuts everyone out. It is so very difficult to watch. I can almost feel your sorrow. God bless you, your wife and the rest of your family. Thanks Les. Yes, he was very outgoing and so generous. He would always be the first to volunteer to help anybody who needed help. And on his sister's 50th birthday, he threw her a party that had to have cost him thousands of dollars. But, he crawled into a dark hole and there was nothing we could do to help him. He was 59 years old. You can't just grab somebody like that and force them to the doctor. We did everything we could to keep him safe and try to get him back into the workplace but he just would not do anything to help himself. Very sad situation. I'm very sad to hear that you have been going through it all those years. You are a better man than me, I'm afraid. Rockytime 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fab4 Posted October 6, 2019 Report Share Posted October 6, 2019 Hi Ray: My sincere condolences to you and your family All you need right now is TIME Take care Fab4 OCtoolguy 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stoney Posted October 6, 2019 Report Share Posted October 6, 2019 Ray, so sorry to hear of you and your family's tremendous loss. I truly can't imagine the pain you all are going through. I will keep you in my thoughts. You don't have to worry about posting something like this here because I believe we are a caring community. OCtoolguy 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OCtoolguy Posted October 6, 2019 Author Report Share Posted October 6, 2019 6 minutes ago, stoney said: Ray, so sorry to hear of you and your family's tremendous loss. I truly can't imagine the pain you all are going through. I will keep you in my thoughts. You don't have to worry about posting something like this here because I believe we are a caring community. Thanks Al, that means a lot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OzarkSawdust Posted October 6, 2019 Report Share Posted October 6, 2019 So sorry to hear of your loss Ray. Being a newbie I don't know a lot about all you folks...but am very thankful you are so caring and helpful. I can't fathom what it feels like. But I have seen depression when a cousin's son went through it, and took the Russian Rotulet way out. Children are not supposed to go before their parents...but this we can not control. Take care my friend, you have been a great help to this newbie. OCtoolguy 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OCtoolguy Posted October 6, 2019 Author Report Share Posted October 6, 2019 26 minutes ago, OzarkSawdust said: So sorry to hear of your loss Ray. Being a newbie I don't know a lot about all you folks...but am very thankful you are so caring and helpful. I can't fathom what it feels like. But I have seen depression when a cousin's son went through it, and took the Russian Rotulet way out. Children are not supposed to go before their parents...but this we can not control. Take care my friend, you have been a great help to this newbie. Thank you. You found the best place on the internet. This is the best, friendliest group you will find. OzarkSawdust 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scrollingforsanity Posted October 7, 2019 Report Share Posted October 7, 2019 So sorry for your loss Ray. Cannot even imagine that happening. Glad you are getting back on the Village and talking to everyone. Prayers to you and your family. grizz OCtoolguy 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OCtoolguy Posted October 7, 2019 Author Report Share Posted October 7, 2019 1 minute ago, scrollingforsanity said: So sorry for your loss Ray. Cannot even imagine that happening. Glad you are getting back on the Village and talking to everyone. Prayers to you and your family. grizz Thanks. This is my place to come to for some solace. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scrappile Posted October 7, 2019 Report Share Posted October 7, 2019 Ray my heartfelt condolences. So sorry for your loss. OCtoolguy 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jollyred Posted October 7, 2019 Report Share Posted October 7, 2019 Lost my youngest son to a motorcycle accident, so I can feel what you are going through. This happened over 20 years ago, and I can tell you that they are never forgotten. My prayers are with you through this. Tom OCtoolguy and John B 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kmmcrafts Posted October 7, 2019 Report Share Posted October 7, 2019 Ray, I'm very sorry for you and your families loss, I cannot imagine the pain and struggles you and the family are going through.. Praying for you and the family.. OCtoolguy 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dgman Posted October 7, 2019 Report Share Posted October 7, 2019 Hey Ray, I'm so sorry for your loss. Unfortunately, I do know how you feel. I lost my only daughter about five years ago. I have never mentioned it here, until now. I know how hard it is to talk about it. You never get over losing a child, but it does get easier as time goes by. Thanks for letting us know. John B and OCtoolguy 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RabidAlien Posted October 7, 2019 Report Share Posted October 7, 2019 Y'all are in our prayers, bro. OCtoolguy 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OCtoolguy Posted October 7, 2019 Author Report Share Posted October 7, 2019 3 minutes ago, dgman said: Hey Ray, I'm so sorry for your loss. Unfortunately, I do know how you feel. I lost my only daughter about five years ago. I have never mentioned it here, until now. I know how hard it is to talk about it. You never get over losing a child, but it does get easier as time goes by. Thanks for letting us know. Dan, I'm sorry for your loss too. You're right. They say only time will heal our wounds but we will never forget. My problem comes in when I think of whether there was something we missed that we could have done to head it off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjweb Posted October 7, 2019 Report Share Posted October 7, 2019 Ray I am also so very sorry for your lost, I will keep you and your family in my prayers, God Bless, RJ OCtoolguy 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spirithorse Posted October 7, 2019 Report Share Posted October 7, 2019 Hi, Ray, I'm sorry to hear of your loss and my prayers are with your family. I don't want to start an up-roar about religion but, I hope you have faith in God to help. Please do not let yourself become depressed and please know there are a lot of people here to talk to. My e-mail is spirithorse55 at Hotmail dot com if you ever want to talk more privately. God Bless! Spirithorse OCtoolguy and John B 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wombatie Posted October 7, 2019 Report Share Posted October 7, 2019 Ray I am so heartfelt sorry for your loss. Rest assured that you did everything a father could and I am sure that he appreciated it even if he didn't show it. Talk about him often, he will never leave you. Condolences to you and your family. Marg OCtoolguy 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LarryEA Posted October 7, 2019 Report Share Posted October 7, 2019 From my heart I pray for you and your family. May your pain ease and your leaning on the Lord increase. OCtoolguy 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
don watson Posted October 7, 2019 Report Share Posted October 7, 2019 Ray, our deepest condolences to you and your family. Such a loss at such an age is truly hurtful. The pain will ease a bit but will take time. We lost our only son 5 days after his 27th birthday. This was 21 years ago but the pain is still here although slightly lessened by time. take care Don W PS Our son died from pancreatitis while on holiday on Majorca and we had issues trying to repatriate the body. John B and OCtoolguy 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JimErn Posted October 7, 2019 Report Share Posted October 7, 2019 The loss of a loved one is devastating, but the loss of a child is even worse, my prayers are for you and yours in this difficult time. I am but a PM away if you need to vent, or .. OCtoolguy 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scrolling Steve Posted October 7, 2019 Report Share Posted October 7, 2019 So very sorry for your loss.....Take care my friend ! OCtoolguy 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John B Posted October 7, 2019 Report Share Posted October 7, 2019 **** Ray, mate, that has to be the hardest thing anyone will ever have to tackle. My heart breaks for you and your family. What ever you do, do not beat yourself up. I have been there and believe me, there was very little anybody could do with that mindset. If you need to chat. contact me mate. OCtoolguy 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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