beware Drop Bear

[John B]

A man in the Aussie Outback wakes up one morning to find a deadly drop bear on his roof. So he looks in the yellow pages and sure enough..

there's an ad for "Macca's Drop Bear Removers."

He calls the number and the man says he'll be over in 30 minutes.

The drop bear remover arrives and gets out of his van. He's got a ladder, a cricket bat, 12-gauge shotgun, and a mean heavily scarred old pit bull.

"What are you going to do?" the homeowner asks.

"I'm going to put this ladder up against the roof, then I'm going to go up there and I’ll knock the bastard off the roof with this cricket bat. When the bear falls off the roof, the pit bull is trained to grab his testicles and not let go. The bear will then be subdued enough for me to put him in the cage in the back of the van."

He then hands the shotgun to the homeowner.

"What's the shotgun for?" asks the homeowner.

"If the bugger knocks me off the roof, shoot the dog."

[LarryEA]

I now know what a drop bear is. Probably met some.

[merlin]

Don't have Drop Bears in NZ...

 

The drop bear (sometimes dropbear), assigned the fictional scientific name Thylarctos plummetus, is a hoax in contemporary Australian folklore featuring a predatory, carnivorous version of the koala (Phascolarctos cinereus). This imaginary animal is commonly spoken about in tall tales designed to scare tourists.

[amazingkevin]

Maybe!

[savethebeer]

Scottish reporter tricked into wearing protective gear for 'drop bears' | South Australia | 7NEWS

Absolutely hilarious

 

[John B]

12 hours ago, savethebeer said:

Scottish reporter tricked into wearing protective gear for 'drop bears' | South Australia | 7NEWS

Absolutely hilarious

 

I've seen this, It's absolutely gold

[John B]

Your can protect yourself from Dropbears when walking in the bush, by placing a dab of vegimite in your hair

[Scrappile]

Never heard of "dropbears" but I almost got court martialed in the service when I convinced some city boy marines to go "snip hunting" when we were on practice maneuvers one night.... Just having a little fun,,,, the platoon sergeant was un-impressed...  Took some quick talking to convince him it was funny...  There was a blanket party when we got back to the barracks.  I was sore for a few days..

[dvdneal]

I got the midshipmen with sea bats.  You make up something to get them to look at the deck (usually phosphorescing plants in the water.) and then use the bat on their backside.  One big guy from Nebraska got mad at us.  He couldn't see the sea bats.